I need the biggest dildo they make. No, bigger than that. I need like, the biggest biggest dildo they make SO I CAN GIVE IT TO MY COLLEGE BOYFRIEND SO HE CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF KTHXBAI. It’s his fault I lost the blowjob contest! I’m demoting him to cheap phone sex from now on.
I live with my parental units and I don’t often get to participate in dorm craziness, so when I was at a friends dorm and the subject of a blowjob contest came up I was like “mmmbgmbnlflflmbmb” because I was already sucking dick at the time. BUT HE TOTALLY BLEW HIS WAD TOO SOON OR I WON I CANT TELL. If I won for making someone cum the fastest he sure lost for not lasting the longest. Mixed blessing I suppose. But if I’d had a real man, I could’ve shown off what I could do because he wouldn’t have shot so quickly. Ah well, if you’re my college boyfriend and want some kinky phone sex it’s cool, because I only have like, a minute. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
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